Model answer - Comparing Poems

Hi all,

Here is the essay I wrote while you were doing your timed essay today. I've also included an extract from the top end of the mark scheme. I hope you give me an A*!

It sounds like next week will be a bit bitty. Remember, the plan for next week is:

Monday: Poetry round-up - Horse Whisperer (!) and unseen poems
Wednesday: Of Mice and Men - Steinbeck's style (see post below)
Friday: English Language Paper practice

I'll plan a revision session for next Thursday, but please feel free to drop in to see me at any time, or email me or post a comment here if you need help. I'll be at my desk or in the English office during our normal lesson times if you need anything.

Compare the ways the poets present ideas about power in Ozymandias and one other poem from Character and Voice.

Both Ozymandias and The River God are poems that create a character for whom power is a major issue. Ozymandias indirectly creates a voice of an Egyptian king, Ramesses II, but does this through the distancing narrative frame of a traveller 'from an antique land.' This sense of distance diminishes and undermines the sense of power given to the subject, Ozymandias. In the River God, Stevie Smith creates the persona of a river who has great and enduring physical power, but feels unappreciated and neglected.

The nature of power in Ozymandias is expressed in terms of tyrannical, cruel behaviour. The remains of a 'vast' statue are 'stamp'd' with a 'frown' and a 'sneer of cold command'. It is evident that Ozymandias ruled as a tyrant, without regard for the people. The phrase 'the hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed' suggests that he gained his strength and power from, and at the expense of, his people. However, the end of the poem undermines this power. The irony of the inscription on the pedestal is highlighted by the simple phrase 'Nothing beside remains', suggesting that nothing lasts forever - even great civilisations will eventually crumble and 'decay.' This word is a key word in the poem. Shelley is suggesting that decay and decline is inevitable. Perhaps this can also be read as a warning for our own society, for western civilisation, or for humankind in general: nothing lasts forever.

The River God begins in quite defensive fashion, with the assertion that 'I may be smelly and I may be old'; the voice created immediately gives the impression that it is defending itself and feels insecure and unappreciated. We get a sense of the River God's sense of fun (‘Hi yih, yippity-yap, merrily I flow’) and it's appreciation of beauty - in fact the word 'beautiful' appears four times. However, the overwhelming sense of insecurity and bitterness carries a hint of threat. There is a threat to the swimmers, who 'take a long time drowning... In the spirit of clowning'. The use of rhyme here implies a sense of sadistic and light-hearted enjoyment in inflicting death on the powerless humans. However, mixed in with this sense of power is a feeling of powerlessness and insecurity in the final line about his 'beautiful dear': 'If she wishes to go I will not forgive her.' Both of these poems seem to create voices of timeless power, but below the surface there is a suggestion of vulnerability.

Ozymandias is written in the form of a sonnet, and with this particular form comes a regular rhyme scheme and rhythm, creating a sense of order. This neatness and orderliness underlines the simple, undeniable truth at the heart of the poem: nothing lasts forever. The simplicity and conciseness of the poem’s form makes this simple message all the more powerful. In contrast, The River God creates moments of orderliness with its heavy use of rhyme, but the slight inconsistencies in the rhyme scheme suggest the contrasting feelings of power and powerlessness the speaker feels. The defensive opening lines do not rhyme, and many of the final lines end with the repetitive 'her' suggesting his paranoia and obsession. In contrast, moments of humour sound stronger with perfect feminine rhymes (drowning/clowning) or strong masculine ones (flow/go). The long, flowing single stanza and the use of enjambment suggest a continuous flow – like a river.

The language in Ozymandias creates a sense of destruction, lifelessness and decay. The poem is set in a 'desert', which is a symbol of infertility and death, and the remains of the statue are described as 'lifeless'. By the end of the poem, this is further emphasised by using the alliteration of 'boundless and bare' to emphasise this harsh reality, and then further by the use of the word 'wreck.' Even the word 'remains', here used as a verb, has a more destructive and powerful meaning when considered as a noun: what is left of something that has been destroyed.

The River God's language is simple and direct, creating a colloquial and very human voice for the river. The first line is largely monosyllabic, and the general pattern of simple language continues throughout. Colloquial idioms further emphasise this sense of humanity, with phrases like 'plenty of go' helping to create a persona we can relate to. This sense of an unappreciated character with literal and metaphorical hidden depths is developed as the poem goes on. His obsession is revealed through the repetition of 'beautiful' and 'her', but the dark reality of the situation to the reader is emphasised through the descriptions of her 'white face' and her 'golden sleepy head'. These seem to suggest beauty, but also strongly suggest death - and the power of the river to inflict it. There is an awkward contrast between the River God’s casual take on the situation and our own. Finally, the phrase 'wide original bed' provides a sense of power that is missing from Ozymandias - a sense of permanence. The interesting use of the word 'original' suggests that the river has always been there and always will. In this poem, Stevie Smith seems to be demonstrating the dangerous power of nature and warning us of the deadly consequences of showing no respect for that power. In contrast, the end of Shelley’s poem provides a scene of peace and emptiness after the rule of Ozymandias as the 'lone and level sands stretch far away.' The soft, alliterative sounds of this final line show that there is no longer any echo of the tyrannical power that once existed there.